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Temat: Sprawdzenie krótkiego tekstu - angielski

  1. #1
    Avatar Viperix
    Data rejestracji
    2008
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    Domyślny Sprawdzenie krótkiego tekstu - angielski

    Witam!

    Byłbym wdzięczny gdyby ktoś go przeczytał i ew. zwrócił uwagę na błędy bo ja kolejnych znaleźć nie mogę. Byłbym bardzo wdzięczny i chętnie mogę zrobić coś w zamian. :D
    Tekst TUTAJ.

    Z góry dziękuje!
    Pozdrawiam

  2. #2
    Avatar Oryks
    Data rejestracji
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    He learned very qucikly


    change the world in better place
    a nie make the world a better place?

  3. #3
    Avatar Viperix
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    2008
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    Domyślny

    Cytuj Oryks napisał Pokaż post
    Cytat został ukryty, ponieważ ignorujesz tego użytkownika. Pokaż cytat.
    a nie make the world a better place?
    Jasne, masz rację. :D

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  5. #4
    Avatar Grimekk
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    When he was about 12 years old, he started to create awebsite "theinfo.com",asimilar site to Wikipedia, which we knownowadays
    ja bym to tak ujal
    When he was about 12 years old, he started creating a website "theinfo.com", a very similar site to the nowadays wikipedia.

    Then he was studing atStanford University, also at that time heworked on RSS technology.
    studying*
    zamiast przecinka dalbym kropke i napisal 'Also, at the time he worked on RSS technology.'


    This system allows users to gather news for diffrent websites atthe same time.
    niepoprawne. tak ladniej:
    The system allowed users to gather news from different websites at the same time.

    His high intelligence caused that, he was sometimes arrogant.
    niepoprawne, w angielskim sie stawia ; w takich sytuacjach
    His high intelligence caused that; he was sometimes arrogant.

    Aaron often complain about lecturers, because he thought that they don't know what they were saying.
    niepoprawne
    Aaron often complained about the lecturers, because he didn't understand them.

    He preferred to learn from books than go to school.
    He preferred learning from books than going to school.
    nie mam czasu sprawdzac reszty, ale biorac pod uwage ilosc bledow w poczatkowych zdaniach, raczej na pewno masz jakies tam pozniej w tekscie @Viperix ;
    Ostatnio zmieniony przez Grimekk : 07-01-2016, 18:46

  6. #5
    Avatar Viperix
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    @Grimmek dzięki wielkie!

    Jasne, zaraz dokładnie przejrzę resztę tekstu...

  7. #6
    Avatar Dzzej
    Data rejestracji
    2006
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    Domyślny

    Przejrzałem cały tekst, ale w 1/3 się znudziłem i im dalej byłem, tym mniejsze miałem skupienie. Dosyć sporo poprawiłem. Od zwykłych literówek, poprzez zły szyk wyrazów, aż po niezłe wymysły. Zapewne nie wszystko wychwyciłem, ale coś tam powinno być lepiej.

    PS. Ten tekst w ogóle jest źle skonstruowany. Przede wszystkim ciężko się go czyta, bo zdania jakoś się ze sobą nie kleją. Piszesz o jednym, a kolejne zdanie z dupy o czymś zupełnie innym.

    The Story of Aaron Swartz
    Aaron Swartz was born in Highland Park where he grew up. He came from family of three extraordinary brothers, but Aaron was the gifted one. He really enjoyed learning and teaching other people. When he was about three years old, his dad demonstrated him a computer and everything compared with this machine. He learned very quickly how to program in Basic (a programming language) and started writing simple programs and games. From that moment, computers were a premanent part of his world. When he was about 12 years old, he started creating a website called "theinfo.com", a similar site to Wikipedia, which is very known and popular nowadays. After that he was studying at the Stanford University. Also, at that time he worked on RSS technology. To be clear - this system allows users to gather news from different websites at the same time. Finally, he became one of the co-founders of RSS 1.0. This was caused by his high inteligence. However, he was sometimes an arrogant young man, for instance he disliked going to school. Aaron often complained about lecturers. He was sure that they weren't educated well to teach him anything. He preffered reading books over going to school. Aaron also worked on CC license with Lawrence Lessig – a Harvard Law Professor. After the first year, he dropped out of school and started to work in start-up -Y Combinator. They worked on a tool designed to build websites. By the way, he created Reddit – a place in the Internet, where there is a lot of humor, a lot of art, people can discuss about daily news, technlogy, politics and other issues. Finally, he sold Reddit for about a million dollars and went to California. He started to work for Conde Nast, but after a few weeks he realized that working in a corporation was a very bad idea. He decided to give it up and then he focused on his private life. After some time, Aaron stated a new project - openlibrary.com. Website, where each and every published book has it's own page with information. At the same time he became interested in government system called PACER. He helped to write the algorithm, which could automatically search and download files, that were published in the Internet.Swartz wanted to do the same thing with JSTORE – the site, which contained a lot of publications. He wanted to download and analyze all of them. To do this, he had to connect his computer to the school's server and copy all the data. Unfortunatelly, one time someone record him doing this and reported the fact to the police. Aaron Swartz was indicted on charges of wire fraud, computer fraud and unlawfully obtaining information from a protected computer.While the case was in progress, he supported many activists organizations and organized protests against SOPA - act, which allowed governments to control the Internet. He convinced a lot of people and companies to join his resistance and finally, thanks to them, SOPA was rejected by the US Goverment.
    In 2012 the number of charges increased from 4 to 13. It also increased maximum criminal exposure to 50 years of imprisonment and $1 million in fines. His mental condition was getting worse and worse. Aaron lived in fear. Finally, he was found dead in his apartament. I strongly belive that our world lost one of the most valuable person of our times. He was a very intelligent, creative and inventive person, who had the power to change the world into a better place for all of us. I think that judges treated him very savagely and wrongfully. He was just a victim of the defective system.
    Ostatnio zmieniony przez Dzzej : 07-01-2016, 20:37

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